


One Eighty, Eight Eight One

by pdot1123



Category: None - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:07:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25350613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pdot1123/pseuds/pdot1123





	One Eighty, Eight Eight One

I hate myself.  
Anyone can read it from my eyes.  
I push away all the ones I love  
and abandon the things I should do for vice and debauchery.

I blame my parents for the way they raised me.  
I blame myself for the feelings of inadequacy,  
often enough I think about offing myself,  
hang ropes, slit throats, held off only by mental notes  
That I'm not as bad as I seem.

Most days I'm blind to my faults,  
a facade I often don't look through because it seems too tough.  
But at late nights, my mind realigns, I push back all my lies.  
I realize I've been hurting people throughout my life, though it feels like I've lived two lives.

One thoughtless and cruel, where I purposely do the wrong things and laugh about it.  
One where I drop the mask and want better for those around me, where my beliefs and my actions match blow for blow.

If only I could have something like 42, purpose I would have made something more of this pitiful existence I call my own.


End file.
